Black tape has been put on civil servants' desks to show them where to put their pens.

The exercise is part of the Lean programme, brought in by consultants Unipart, which has already seen public sector workers told to clear their desks of personal items..."This is in line with the workstation ergonomics training that all our staff receive..."

Three guesses, gentle reader, where I would be depositing my personal items, if a consultant from Unipart told me to tidy my desk...