![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Inspired by my 'what to do this weekend' poll - apologies to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
november_girl :)
I've never been a big fan of baths. First you have to spend ten minutes running it. Then you've actually got to get into it and *sit* in the damned thing. "I've run all this water." I think to myself "I better get my moneysworth!"
"Try reading!" they suggest – obviously not the suggestion of someone who has had to return a shriveled paperback to the library after an ablution accident.
"Rest your head on an inflatable bath pillow and light some candles!"
Highly flammable plastics and naked flames? Crikey – why not just go the whole hog and throw the toaster in too...
"Relax with a glass of wine!"
It only take a couple of inches of water to drown you know. Stressed; drowsy; lulled into a reckless snooze by the demon drink. It would be Jim Morrison all over again.
So no. If I have to have a bath at all, I'll do without the added extras, thank you very much.
So there I sit, getting wrinklier and wrinklier as the water gets cooler and cooler, wallowing in my own scurf and filth. A thoroughly miserable experience. And once you're finished? You're just as dirty when you get out as when you got in! What was that all about?
And the whole 'having a bath is pampering yourself' concept. Where did that come from??? Who sold us that concept?
"Hard day at work? Want to give yourself a bit of luxury, love? There you go - here's a big lump of fizzy-gritty stuff that'll play havoc with you for the next three days if it gets under your labia. Chuck it in a have a *wash*. Go on you manky cow - you're too fat for chocolate - scrub yerself up - It's a *treat*, like!"
No other form of personal hygene is glorified in this way - I'm not supposed to watch enraptured as my pants go round and round in the washing machine. I don't look forward to having a crap so I can wipe my arse. And men get beer and Ghost Recon 3 as their rewards - how come all women get is a good dunking?
Next thing you know, they'll be telling us a smear test is a fun day out...
november_girl :)I've never been a big fan of baths. First you have to spend ten minutes running it. Then you've actually got to get into it and *sit* in the damned thing. "I've run all this water." I think to myself "I better get my moneysworth!"
"Try reading!" they suggest – obviously not the suggestion of someone who has had to return a shriveled paperback to the library after an ablution accident.
"Rest your head on an inflatable bath pillow and light some candles!"
Highly flammable plastics and naked flames? Crikey – why not just go the whole hog and throw the toaster in too...
"Relax with a glass of wine!"
It only take a couple of inches of water to drown you know. Stressed; drowsy; lulled into a reckless snooze by the demon drink. It would be Jim Morrison all over again.
So no. If I have to have a bath at all, I'll do without the added extras, thank you very much.
So there I sit, getting wrinklier and wrinklier as the water gets cooler and cooler, wallowing in my own scurf and filth. A thoroughly miserable experience. And once you're finished? You're just as dirty when you get out as when you got in! What was that all about?
And the whole 'having a bath is pampering yourself' concept. Where did that come from??? Who sold us that concept?
"Hard day at work? Want to give yourself a bit of luxury, love? There you go - here's a big lump of fizzy-gritty stuff that'll play havoc with you for the next three days if it gets under your labia. Chuck it in a have a *wash*. Go on you manky cow - you're too fat for chocolate - scrub yerself up - It's a *treat*, like!"
No other form of personal hygene is glorified in this way - I'm not supposed to watch enraptured as my pants go round and round in the washing machine. I don't look forward to having a crap so I can wipe my arse. And men get beer and Ghost Recon 3 as their rewards - how come all women get is a good dunking?
Next thing you know, they'll be telling us a smear test is a fun day out...
